Moana: What can I say except, I've seen this before?

Riot’s Reviews: Moana

It would be an exercise in futility writing up a full review for this film because, as I’m sure many of you would have guessed, Moana is about as shot-for-shot as you can get. My not so hot take: the Disney live-action remake project has officially run its course. I think this review would be better served offering some thoughts about the role these films have had in cinema, whether or not it was a venture worth taking, and why I’d argue its time is officially up. I’ll do my best not to waste too much time here, but let’s hit the positives/negatives hard and fast.

Here are my rapid fire pluses/praises: 1) the vast majority of the casting holds up in both acting and musical skills. 2) although a little drained of the vibrant color (for obvious reasons) the effects and the visuals are solid. 3) I was really skeptical about whether or not Maui’s animated tattoos would translate to the live-action and I was wrong to be worried, it looked great and the comedy bits land. 4) the little extra time spent on Motunui, its citizens, exploring the heritage and the costumes was really fantastic. 5) music is still fire.

Negatives babyyyy: 1) the special effects are spotty in important places/moments and it hurts the progression of the story. 2) The Rock’s wig and prosthetics are distracting, there’s no way around it. 3) there’s really nothing of note that has been added by doing this film.

Simply put, I actually really liked this version Moana. In the wide spectrum of Disney films, the original easily ranks in my top ten, if not top five all time (I should sit down and make this list sometime, stay tuned for that future post.) The original’s outstanding quality makes doing a shot-for-shot remake both its greatest strength and simultaneously its greatest weakness. A proper and successful live-action relies on what I think are two things: 1) The storyline should follow closely to the roadmap of the original and creative licensing should also be taken to add information/elements where you can. 2) In service to the first, whatever is added/shifted/changed from the original, it should enhance the story and not detract from it. That is where the live-action adaptation of Moana falls terribly short. It is a struggle to find anything of note that stands out from the original. Online commentary has pointed out ad nauseum that it hasn’t been long enough between the first film (2016) and this one (2026), not to mention that Moana 2 literally came out just two years ago. So not only are Moana fans technically oversaturated, they’re young and old enough to very easily recall what it was like to see the original in theaters. This dynamic ultimately leads to one simple question: why would I pay to see this one when I can watch it at home? Granted, audiences didn’t know for a fact that a shot-for-shot was in the cards, buuuuut an educated guess isn’t difficult to make here.

So why would I argue that the live-action remake project is cooked? Unrelated to Disney content, you simply have to look at the recent success of Obsession and Backrooms. Audiences are craving original content, so much so that Indie horror films are currently setting the pace of profitability in Hollywood. While I understand that it’s probably hard to stop the film production wheel once it starts rolling down the hill, I also understand that frequently losing over 100 million dollars can’t be what you want either. The nostalgia farm is a finicky mistress as it turns out and I don’t think that Disney is being honest with itself on 1) the quality of these productions and 2) where the interest of its fan base really is. If you’re going to run a cash grab based on successful IP’s, it should look something more like Toy Story 5 than this new Moana. And while audiences clearly have been enjoying tastes of their childhoods, they don’t want to risk them being destroyed either. A live-action veneer isn’t going to do anything to improve on an already successful story, especially if nothing is added or risked. And while I don’t respect trying to say, make a heroine out of a villain like Cruella, at least those creators swung for the fences. It was a project worth undertaking, but some extra reverence and care should have come with each title and much like what comic book movies are currently experiencing, sometimes you just have to admit when it’s time to wrap it up.

Riot’s Ranking: 8/10: It’s not a bad movie and to say otherwise would be intellectually dishonest, it’s just not what audiences want right now. Parents should just throw the original on at home for their kids and wait for this one to hit Disney+.

P.S. Catherine Laga’aia killed it as Moana, totally embodied the character and has the singing chops to back it all up.